


Inevitable Surrender

by kesomon



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/M, Humor, No actual sex, Pranks, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-01
Updated: 2007-05-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8153081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kesomon/pseuds/kesomon
Summary: The universe seems hell-bent on assuming certain things about Ace and Hex. There's only one solution.
"You and I are going to have sex."
Say what?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is utter crack and does not follow any established canon, since to my knowledge, Ace, Hex, and Bernice have never been on-board the TARDIS at the same time.
> 
> Originally posted to FFN 5/01/2007. Edited for spelling mistakes but otherwise posted in its original format.

If there was one thing that Hex did not expect when he opened his door, his toothbrush still stuck in his mouth and toothpaste foamed on his lips, was Ace, in a terrycloth dressing gown, and what looked like very little else. He blinked at her.

"Ace? Wha- did you want something?" he asked, though it came out more like "aug, wha-uu aah?"

"You and I are going to have sex," She said, with great sincerity, and he choked on his toothbrush. To give her credit, she managed to wait very patiently for the couple of minutes he spent coughing up foam.

He wiped toothpaste off on his sleeve, and cleared his throat. "Um...alright? Gee Ace, I didn' know you liked me that way. ...Can I at least ask why?"

She pushed past him and bounced down onto the corner of his bed, crossing her legs and staring very pointedly at him. "Well, everyone we ever meet has assumed we done sex, and I'm gettin' sick an' tired of correctin' 'em. So-oooo I figure we got a cosmic duty to the space-time continuum to uphold."

Hex stared at her as if she were mad, and a slightly hysterical chuckle of disbelief escaped his lips. "Have you been in Benny's stash again, Ace?"

She just continued to stare at him, her head tilted just slightly, her eyes rather creepily refusing to blink.

Hex decided, rather then test his luck, to grope for the doorknob and flee into the corridor, dashing down the hallway with a panicked cry of "DOCTAH! Ace is acting funny!"

Ace smirked triumphantly, and stepped out into the hall after him, turning to grin at Bernice, who had been lurking nearby. "Toldja I could freak him out in less then five minutes. Ten pounds please."

"Damnit," Benny grumbled, fishing in her pocket. "I was so sure it'd be longer."


End file.
